The wandering soul ...

I had the best childhood. I remember the house always being full of family and friends. Always busy and exciting. I had the Barbie's, Cabbage Patch Dolls, My Little Pony and the Care Bears, went to a great school, did ballet, squash, swimming lessons, mini hockey, and tennis, had birthday parties and went on holiday every single year, sometimes twice. We weren't spoilt though and we had our fair share of broken wooden spoons and belts but we always had everything we needed. But what I remember most is how much love we were showered with every single day from my parents.

My parents brought us up with good values and respect and I'm so proud to be their child but I have given them their fair share of grey hairs. Along with teaching us about love, honesty and loyalty, they tried their best to teach me about settling down and finding a niche but to this day, it's something I never grasped.

My Mom calls me her "free spirit child", I call myself the black sheep, in a nice way of course. Because settling down is something I can't seem to do.

For me, what it comes down to is not settling for mediocrity. If I feel unsettled and have itchy feet in a job, I move. My thinking is, as cliché as it gets, life is just too short. Yes, my parents generation is all about finding a job and staying there until you get that fancy watch for working at the same place for a hundred years. Yes, this concept does work for most people and they probably are genuinely happy where they are, but it's not for everyone. I feel that if you not passionate about your job and stay just for the comfort of it, are you not doing yourself an injustice?

I have made some horrific choices in my life. But I've also made incredible life changing ones too. Once I packed my car with what I could, jumped in and moved to Cape Town. Some years later I left to work on a cruise ship for the best 6 months of my life. A couple jobs later I upped and left for Spain. Right now, I'm on a beach in Thailand. The only reason I could do this was because I have the love and support of the most incredible family and such beautiful friends, most of which don't understand why I am like this but are still there for me anyway.

My folks have taught me what they know. Settle down, get married, have children and be happy. It's what they did and they have been happily married for 40 years already, and it has worked for them. For me, being happy doesn't mean being settled down. Being happy means traveling and adventures and new people that come into your life. What my parents are saying isn't wrong, not by a long shot, but it just isn't right for me. Finding a place to call home is very hard for me because I always feel as though there is some new place that needs to be explored, home is not a physical place for me. Maybe it's cause I haven't found that thing to ground me or maybe I'm just not meant to be grounded.

Find some roots, they say. Find something you love and stick with it, they say. What if I love moving, what if I love the feeling of not having roots holding me down? I am a wandering soul. Is that really the worst thing in the world?

Two great reads I found after I got back from the holiday I was on when I wrote this. "Don't date a girl who travels" "Date a girl that travels"

My soul is wandering

Incomplete it is feeling

There is a part missing

That I am always seeking

By Iqra Tariq

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