Rule No.67 - Do not be concerned with escaping safely.

“Forget about winning and losing; forget about pride and pain. Let your opponent graze your skin and you smash into his flesh; let him smash into your flesh and you fracture his bones; let him fracture your bones and you take his life! Do not be concerned with escaping safely- lay your life before him!!” Bruce Lee

Okay, so we all think Chuck Norris is a legend. Well, who do think taught him to be so awesome. You have to be a SERIOUS legend to have Chuck Norris be your pallbearer at your funeral. I mean really. Bruce Lee remains an inspiration to many, including myself and Chuck and his legend lives on.

A little while ago, a group of friends and I took this advice seriously when coming face to face with a real "American style" bar fight, like in the movies. There were pool cues, high heels, pulling hair, kicking, punching, i think there may have even been a chair involved. We had no regard for our safety. There were even a few that had no idea what the fight was about but got in there cause they knew their friends were in trouble. Well, until some wubby broke a bottle and made it personal. Then we ran, stumbled and crawled out of there as quick as you can say Pollsmoor ex con. We walked away with a concussion, bald patch and cauliflower ear. They closed the club the next day. We won. This is a good time for me to thank Suze Original, Knitting Nancy, Smart Girl, Cat Woman, Princess Leia, Tuna Tarzaan, Danger Dave and CFG. Thanks for not being concerned for your own safety for me.

Listen to Bruce, he knows what he is talking about. Go into everything in life guns blazing.

Comments

Anonymous said…

Oh dear, 'advise' is back! And you were doing so well

7 December 2011 at 15:31

Suze said…

Fixed! Aaaaarrggh. Hate that word!

7 December 2011 at 17:13

Rule No.33 - Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day

Okay, rules are back and what a classic one! This quote is by Harry S Truman. He was the 33 rd president of America, historians call him “a controversial president”, the band Chicago wrote a song just for him and he has a commemorative holiday in his name on the 8 th May in Missouri. This is brilliant advise, not in the literal sense, well, that too, but if you having a seriously bad day, don’t make things worse by deliberately doing something that will bite you in the bum later. I did this the other day, so I am talking out of experience here. I went into a situation and then on the way out, after realising it was a bad situation, I kicked a fresh turd cause I was so mad. (again, not literally, although, that might have been a better idea in hindsight) My advise in this circumstance is to stay indoors that day until you have calmed yourself down. I’ll leave you with another quote from Truman : A pessimist is one who makes difficulties of his opportunities and an optimist is one who ...

Rule No.59 - If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

"Bull", meaning nonsense, dates from the 17th century, while the term "bull*&$*" has been used as early as 1915 in American slang , and came into popular usage only during World War II . The word "bull" itself may have derived from the Old French boul meaning "fraud, deceit" (Oxford English Dictionary). The term "horse*&$*" is a near synonym. Worthy of note is the South African English equivalent "bull dust". Few corresponding terms exist in other languages, with the significant exception of German Bockmist , literally "billy-goat *&%*". Funny, Suze Original and I were talking about this the other day. She went for an interview and we were laughing cause we both do the same thing. They ask you a simple question that could be answered in a line or two but we both start elaborating so much trying to make a good impression that what started as "My favorite hobby is... right to.. and that's why I...

Rule No.68 - You don't save a pitcher for tomorrow. Tomorrow it may rain.

One must please forgive me lack of knowledge when it comes to baseball. At first glance I understood this rule as a pitcher full of wine or Pimm's. You can see my confusion. First of all, why on earth would you leave it till the next day, and then even if it was raining, whats to stop you from having some. Sigh. Anyway, after seeing who the quote was written by I was incredibly embarrassed to find out it was about a pitcher in a baseball team. How silly of me. I did think it insane that someone would ever tell you to save a pitcher of Pimm's for the next day. I think this rule also applies to the whole don't save your best china for special occasions, every day should be celebrated. What's the point of having them if you going to keep them in the cupboard until the fancy people come, what about your run of mill, everyday peeps. They should be even more special. So don't save that wine, the pitcher or the china for another day. If you have it, use it.

Chasing Noodles

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