Rule No. 85 - Avoid cliches, avoid generalizations,find your own voice, show compassion, and ask the important questions.

Wow, and straight back into the serious stuff.

Cliches. Sigh, Let's recap a couple of our favorites:

Cliché number 1: “Forget about the past; what’s done is done.” Yes, because we all have the ability to erase all feelings from the past and move on immediately.Check.

Cliché number 2: “Everything happens for a reason.” Okay, thank you for that. Thought things happen just because, and the bad things happen to make you feel even worse.

Cliché number 3: “Everything will work out in the end” When you have had a super bad break up or you going through a rough patch, this is the last bit of advice you need to hear. It's meant to be the silver lining for you, but the end could be tomorrow, next year or the day before you die. Not that comforting at the time of sadness.

Cliché number 4: “There are plenty of fish in the sea.” My best, why thank you. Because there aren't 6 billion other people fishing off the rocks for their own fish.

Cliché number 5: "It will happen when it happens" My most profound one. I mean, whoa, i would have loved to be a fly on the wall when that one was born. So we mustn't wait for it to happen, cause it will only happen, when it happens! I mean, really??

Generalisations are a little harder to avoid, but like they say "don't judge a book by its cover". Haha, had to throw in a cliche.

Finding your own voice is another thing all together. In my many years of living, my voice has changed many times. Each time i think I have found my voice, something comes along, and tells me that the song has changed. It is one of the most empowering things when you do find your voice, and you hear it out loud. So when you do find your voice, hold on to it, just remember, like a piano, your voice will need to be tuned every now and then.

Dalai Lama has an amazing quote: " If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion." That says it all.

Now, asking the right questions is a bit hard for me. I LOVE to ask questions, but they often aren't the right ones, and instead of asking the one important one that will sort it all out, I ask 90 other ones and end up upsetting or irritating the people that I love, purely because I had no idea how to ask the right one. I'm trying though, one of my many fun faults.

Good advice Amy Tan, thank you.

Comments

Rule No.33 - Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day

Okay, rules are back and what a classic one! This quote is by Harry S Truman. He was the 33 rd president of America, historians call him “a controversial president”, the band Chicago wrote a song just for him and he has a commemorative holiday in his name on the 8 th May in Missouri. This is brilliant advise, not in the literal sense, well, that too, but if you having a seriously bad day, don’t make things worse by deliberately doing something that will bite you in the bum later. I did this the other day, so I am talking out of experience here. I went into a situation and then on the way out, after realising it was a bad situation, I kicked a fresh turd cause I was so mad. (again, not literally, although, that might have been a better idea in hindsight) My advise in this circumstance is to stay indoors that day until you have calmed yourself down. I’ll leave you with another quote from Truman : A pessimist is one who makes difficulties of his opportunities and an optimist is one who ...

Rule No.59 - If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

"Bull", meaning nonsense, dates from the 17th century, while the term "bull*&$*" has been used as early as 1915 in American slang , and came into popular usage only during World War II . The word "bull" itself may have derived from the Old French boul meaning "fraud, deceit" (Oxford English Dictionary). The term "horse*&$*" is a near synonym. Worthy of note is the South African English equivalent "bull dust". Few corresponding terms exist in other languages, with the significant exception of German Bockmist , literally "billy-goat *&%*". Funny, Suze Original and I were talking about this the other day. She went for an interview and we were laughing cause we both do the same thing. They ask you a simple question that could be answered in a line or two but we both start elaborating so much trying to make a good impression that what started as "My favorite hobby is... right to.. and that's why I...

Rule No.6 - Don't panic

Panic is a sudden sensation of fear which is so strong as to dominate or prevent reason and logical thinking, replacing it with overwhelming feelings of anxiety and frantic agitation consistent with an animalistic f ight-or-flight reaction. It also rhymes with manic and tannic. Perfect example of when to not panic and then when to start panicking. My very first night in my new flat here in Cape Town, I was woken up by my curtain being opened from the outside. Odd, first of all, because I live on the first floor, and second of all, because there was a man, well boy, suddenly staring at me from my window. A little shocked and confused, but not panicked, I squinted through sleepy eyes and said "hello". He looked at me, a little confused as well and greeted back. Then I asked him what he was up to at my window so early in the morning. "Washing your windows", was his reply. Okay, so it's Monday morning, my first night in this complex, maybe Monday morning is washing...

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