Rule No. 85 - Avoid cliches, avoid generalizations,find your own voice, show compassion, and ask the important questions.

Wow, and straight back into the serious stuff.

Cliches. Sigh, Let's recap a couple of our favorites:

Cliché number 1: “Forget about the past; what’s done is done.” Yes, because we all have the ability to erase all feelings from the past and move on immediately.Check.

Cliché number 2: “Everything happens for a reason.” Okay, thank you for that. Thought things happen just because, and the bad things happen to make you feel even worse.

Cliché number 3: “Everything will work out in the end” When you have had a super bad break up or you going through a rough patch, this is the last bit of advice you need to hear. It's meant to be the silver lining for you, but the end could be tomorrow, next year or the day before you die. Not that comforting at the time of sadness.

Cliché number 4: “There are plenty of fish in the sea.” My best, why thank you. Because there aren't 6 billion other people fishing off the rocks for their own fish.

Cliché number 5: "It will happen when it happens" My most profound one. I mean, whoa, i would have loved to be a fly on the wall when that one was born. So we mustn't wait for it to happen, cause it will only happen, when it happens! I mean, really??

Generalisations are a little harder to avoid, but like they say "don't judge a book by its cover". Haha, had to throw in a cliche.

Finding your own voice is another thing all together. In my many years of living, my voice has changed many times. Each time i think I have found my voice, something comes along, and tells me that the song has changed. It is one of the most empowering things when you do find your voice, and you hear it out loud. So when you do find your voice, hold on to it, just remember, like a piano, your voice will need to be tuned every now and then.

Dalai Lama has an amazing quote: " If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion." That says it all.

Now, asking the right questions is a bit hard for me. I LOVE to ask questions, but they often aren't the right ones, and instead of asking the one important one that will sort it all out, I ask 90 other ones and end up upsetting or irritating the people that I love, purely because I had no idea how to ask the right one. I'm trying though, one of my many fun faults.

Good advice Amy Tan, thank you.

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